Thanks to Hamada for helping with edits, and Kody for translation.
Wario Land and its platforming offshoots whisk their headliner off to deranged, dangerous territories on the hunt for treasure. Save for Wario Land II, where Captain Syrup reemerges as the primary threat, every installment hosts its own distinct villain. These rogues usually fade into obscurity after antagonizing Wario once, though one of them is a personal favorite who services his game’s narrative in a satisfying, memorable way.
Rudy, seen in the beginning of 2000’s Wario Land 3 (Image: Nintendo)
One mundane day, Wario aimlessly took to the skies on his Bulldog biplane. Unfortunately, he neglected to monitor its fuel gauge, and once the Bulldog ran out of gas, it spiraled downwards and crashed. Uninjured, Wario leapt onto his feet, soon stumbling upon a cave hidden in the woods. A music box sheltered therein reacts to Wario, sucking him into its miniature world…
Rudy the Clown’s History
Upon awakening, Wario finds himself in the Temple, where he meets the “hidden figure” sealed within its walls. Greeting Wario, the stranger explains that he was formerly this domain’s god and protector until a sinister being imprisoned him. Only the five color-coded music boxes, which were scattered across the land, have the power to free him. Wario’s initially disinterested in helping, but the deity appeals to his greed, letting him keep any treasure he discovers along the way. Now eager to get to work, Wario leaves the Temple (and returns there for guidance when lost), procures the artifacts, and unseals the daemon, an act he quickly regrets. The shrine violently crumbles apart, revealing the figure to be a demonic clown harboring aspirations of transdimensional conquest. Claiming Wario’s usefulness expired, the colossus attacks him, though the anti-hero retaliates and emerges victorious. This breaks the clown’s curse over the world’s inhabitants, reverting the monsters Wario had encountered back into ordinary people. After an expository speech delineating their history with Rudy, they thank Wario and send him home.
Concept art depicts Rudy with arms, though his hands are disconnected from his torso in the finished game. The idea for his character is accredited to Hiroji Kiyotake. (Image: Nintendo)
Surprisingly, Rudy (along with Wario and a coterie of their Land 3 cohorts) made a comeback one year later in Dr. Mario 64. Here, an ill Rudy (who was now named such in the West) sent his underling, Mad Scienstein, to fetch him medicine. The henchman becomes captivated by Dr. Mario’s potent Megavitamins and absconds with them, forcing the practitioner and wayward Wario (who also wanted to pilfer the pills) to give chase. Their excursion ultimately ends at Rudy’s castle, where the brute functions as 64’s eighth and potentially final opponent (expert players go up against an empowered Wario or Mario afterwards). Finally, Wario references his fallen foe in Square Enix’s 2011 crossover Fortune Street, joking how his circus will be sublime so “long as Rudy the Clown doesn’t show up.”
So, what’re my thoughts on Rudy?
From the onset of Wario Land 3, a confrontation between Wario and an evildoer was being built up. The fable Rudy tells Wario introduces this inevitability, and the presence of a hidden horror is only reinforced by the off mood felt throughout the game. Unveiling that evildoer as the hapless soul who kickstarts Wario’s quest made for a nifty twist, especially coming from a publisher and genre not celebrated for such swerves. It also individualizes the isolated Rudy, as neither of his predecessors, Syrup and Demon Head, tricked Wario during their schemes. And as a guiding force, Rudy is fairly lackluster (an example the next game’s cicerone does not follow). The titan only ever offers the barest minimum of assistance, telling Wario where he absolutely needs to go, implying his impatience.
As he suffers damage, Rudy gets faster and his face becomes progressively more discolored. (Image: Nintendo)
A departure from anything Wario heretofore fought, the magical Rudy exemplifies the “evil clown” archetype commonly found in media (common enough to help inspire a phobia). His utilization of the motif affects little beyond his veneer, contrasting later Wario bosses, Clown-a-Round and Chortlebot, who embrace it more wholeheartedly. Nevertheless, Rudy’s veneer is disturbing, much more so than his goofier successors. And thanks to his considerable size, Rudy’s weird, grotesque details – his trumpet ears, red teeth, neon green skin – are easily visible. He completely, imposingly towers over Wario, who barely matches his hands in height.
And thus, the overweight ogres fight. A mechanic powering Wario Land 3, one it inherited from its predecessor, was rendering Wario invincible (after all, he doesn’t want to die). Consequently, monsters can’t stop Wario, they merely slow him down by knocking him away (potentially forcing players to redo platforming segments) or inflicting a temporary, immobilizing transformation onto him. Getting tossed away from a boss is somewhat more punishing, as they heal themselves once Wario exits their battlefield. However, Rudy breaks these rules; his arena isn’t a secluded section within a larger stage, so to maintain tension, he can kill Wario. Unfortunately, those novelties and his stellar presentation service an underwhelmingly simple fight. All the giant does is alternate between swatting Wario or trying to grab him, and all you do is incapacitate Rudy’s hands and toss them at his deformed face. Surely a “god” capable of cursing an entire population could muster more impressive strategies?
Virtual Boy Wario Land’s final boss theme likely inspired Rudy’s Land 3 theme. The clown’s Dr. Mario theme, however, is wholly original. (Image: Nintendo)
When Dr. Mario 64 hit, I was optimistic for Rudy’s longevity, figuring his presence therein meant Nintendo had taken an interest in him. Sadly, that didn’t pan out, and Rudy’s days of haunting civilizations are seemingly behind him. We’re nineteen years removed from his encore performance, and nine from his last acknowledgement. Rudy didn’t even appear as a Spirit in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, a venue through which nobodies like Zip are honored. Yet it would be unfair to say Rudy’s completely forgotten; Wario Land aficionados fondly remember him, and any further schemes on his part would certainly be welcome.
Congratulations, Rudy! You’re among the best of Wario’s restless and impertinent enemies!
Wario Land 3 certainly left an impression on its titular lead, who kept the music box and decorates his house with it. (Image: Nintendo)
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