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Character Chronicle: Mustache Girl

I usually have two to ten projects cooking at a time. This means I always have a steady stream of articles on the horizon, ready to (hopefully) entertain Source Gaming’s readership. But one downside to how I work is that some projects inevitably get pushed aside for months or even years. When I played through A Hat in Time two years ago, a few characters caught my eye as potential “Character Chronicle” subjects. I even began writing an entry about Mustache Girl, its second most important one. And I’ve been thinking about the 3D collectathon again lately, meaning there’s no better time to finish the red-caped crusader’s long-neglected (time) piece. 

A Hat in Time Mustache Girl animation

Image: Source Gaming. Mustache Girl takes the stage in A Hat in Time’s climax 

A Hat in Time happily draws from many beloved classics. Super Mario games rank among them; missions even open with a brief guiding cinematic à la Sunshine and Galaxy. Characters in Rare’s Nineties output were whimsical and jokey, and so is the cast here; Banjo-Kazooie, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, and Donkey Kong 64 were cited as influences (even if director / designer Jonas Kærlev is a critic of the latter). Psychonautsmental landscapes are another. Leading ladies Hat Kid and Mustache Girl even crib from the chibi stylings of Wind Waker. Before starting A Hat in Time, I found myself eager to meet its cast, figuring this storied pool of inspiration would yield a memorable one…

Mustache Girl’s History

A Kickstarter success story, A Hat in Time began development in 2012, five years before it ultimately released. Unsurprisingly, its narrative and art direction saw heavy revision over time. But Mustache Girl was always a central character; Kærlev’s first model of her dates back to August 2012. This antiquated vision of the game even featured “Moustache Girl” as its villain, whose time-traveling powers were a “curse” upon her home planet. 

A Hat in Time key art

Image: Gears for Breakfast. Promotional media often depicts Mustache Girl opposite protagonist Hat Kid, suggesting they’re roughly equal. 

However, Mustache Girl’s design stabilized during 2013 and she evolved into the antagonist with whom A Hat in Time fans are familiar. Several concepts pertaining to her were left on the cutting room floor, though. Initially, she would have been playable more often; a lot of her animations consequently went unused. A proposed ending would’ve also let Hat Kid reunite with Mustache Girl, both now adults. 

In the finished game, Mustache Girl is the first person Hat Kid befriends after crash-landing on her Mafia-infested home. After beating their boss, however, the red soldier sees what Hat Kid’s Time Pieces—the MacGuffins she needs to return to her home—are capable of. Hat Kid refuses to use them to eliminate the crime syndicate, spurring a disgusted Mustache Girl to defect. Once we collect twenty-five Time Pieces, Hat Kid’s former friend sneaks aboard her ship, pilfers them, and warps reality so she’s “judge, jury, and executioner.” Ultimately, her reign is stopped prematurely by the combined efforts of Hat Kid and the planet’s inhabitants. Then the lead makes her leave, but not before potentially leaving the unconscious Mustache Girl an hourglass. 

A Hat in Time Chapter 1, Act 1 Mustache Girl finally speaks

Image: Source Gaming. Eileen Montgomery lovingly voices Mustache Girl, one of the game’s chattiest characters.   

A Hat in Time’s downloadable content retells the lass’s backstory through an in-game storybook. Players can face a supercharged Mustache Girl in “Death Wish Mode.” A DLC level also offers Hat Kid a “The Justice” makeover, replacing her normal palette with Mustache Girl’s. And the brave blond continues to assert her importance through merchandise and an Among Us collaboration

So, what’re my thoughts on Mustache Girl?

I didn’t know much about A Hat in Time before starting it. I knew that it’s a collectathon, one that proudly wears its inspirations on its sleeve. I knew it stars Hat Kid, who has to retrieve magical doodads that were scattered across a world rife with eccentrics. When I finally began A Hat in Time, I was greeted with a cute splash screen depicting its cast. After the star herself, the person who immediately grabbed my attention was, of course, Mustache Girl. 

A Hat in Time Chapter 1, Act 2 Mafia Town Mustache Girl Hat Kid

Image: Source Gaming. Gears for Breakfast’s cast is amusing enough, though I’d argue Mustache Girl’s quirks aren’t endearing or funny. Which, to be clear, is fine. Good, even! 

Visually, Mustache Girl synergizes well with Hat Kid. Proportionally, they’re identical, suggesting they’re physically on par with each other. Yellow serves as a secondary color for both, but in Hat Kid’s case it’s to contrast her outfit’s primary hue, purple. Like Wario, this combination creates an eye-catching discord, except Hat Kid dons a cooler, more subdued shade. Historically, purple’s associated with royalty, so Hat Kid’s palette instantly conveys that she’s important but wishes otherwise (her meek temperament corroborates this). Mustache Girl, though? Her yellow hair, eyes, and medal are complemented by a bold red cloak, suggesting a fiery ferocity bubbles underneath her unassuming façade. My colleague NickDaDroid pointed out to me that her eyeliner points upward, subtly accentuating her intensity. Dashes of purple and green nicely break up her otherwise aggressive palette, however; there is a little more to this child. And, of course, the freedom fighter’s facial hair evokes the timeless image of a mustache-twirling villain. Plenty of antagonists and secondary leads in this medium are glorified palette swaps of their games’ stars, a tradition A Hat in Time’s red rebel plays with.

And seeing Hat Kid and Mustache Girl both reach for a Time Piece in that splash art raised questions. Would she join Hat Kid on the field, perhaps as a co-op buddy? The opening level certainly teased that possibility. Upon arriving in Mafia Town, we’re stuck in a lonely alleyway as two thugs walk our way… only for Mustache Girl to heroically knock ‘em out. Since she’s seemingly looking out for the little guy, chasing the subverter becomes our first objective. This guides us around, familiarizing us with Mafia Town’s layout. Catching up to Mustache Girl also requires us to emulate her slick parkour moves, thereby acquainting us with the game’s controls and mechanics. Whether she means to or not, she’s teaching us the ropes! Besides, this mysterious lass is the closest thing we have to a pal on this strange, uninviting, colorful dump; who else can Hat Kid turn to? 

A Hat in Time Chapter 1, Act 4 Hat Kid Mustache Girl Mafia Town

Image: Source Gaming. Mustache Girl’s design also fittingly evokes Little Red Riding Hood. While she can handle one or two goons, the Mafia overpowers and abducts her twice. 

Which ends with the girls becoming besties. When you’re young, you’ll bond with others quickly over simple commonalities; anyone who shared my love of Pokémon instantly became my buddy, for instance. Considering these two share a common enemy, their fast friendship is reasonably believable and cute. It took me aback a bit that Mustache Girl presumptuously invited herself aboard Hat Kid’s spaceship, but whatever; fun scheming sessions ensued. One might assume that they’d remain allies for the duration of the game, or at least the Mafia Town portion. 

Still, a few things about Mustache Girl began rubbing me the wrong way. She’s overwhelmingly confident, almost coming across as… self righteous or egotistical, maybe? That comment about wanting to reduce the Mafia to jelly felt harsh even accounting for their crimes. And though I sympathized with why she was so invested in purging her home of them, something about her zealousness was off-putting. But, hey, she’s fighting the good fight. This is a cartoony, light-hearted fling. I should probably just laugh along, right?

A Hat in Time Chapter 1, Act 4 Hat Kid Mustache Girl Mafia Town boss

Image: Source Gaming. If you take your sweet time rescuing Mustache Girl from the Mafia boss, she’ll address Hat Kid by name. It’s one of the rare times she does so.  

Then, the twist: this flaming freedom fighter is kinda unhinged! Catching a glimpse of the Time Piece’s reality-warping abilities causes her imagination to run wild. Yes, I understand why Mustache Girl is disappointed in Hat Kid; she’ll invariably have to deal with the Mafia without backup again. So she snaps: she’ll harness the hourglasses to rid the globe of every “bad guy!” Although the two don’t meet again until the finale, Mustache Girl keeps busy. She pollutes Mafia Town with lava, suggesting desperation and a striking decay in nobility. Far less pressingly, Mustache Girl leaves graffiti throughout Chapter 2, the Battle of the Birds (some theorize she even told the evil bird film director about the Time Pieces).

That’s A Hat in Time’s core conflict. The demure Hat Kid wants to retrieve her stuff so she can leave and interacts with the planet’s denizens only when necessary, even if she does befriend many of them (a few even follow Mustache Girl’s example and start hanging around her ship, including the jellified Mafia head). Meanwhile, the red-clad blonde can’t sympathize with her buddy and, frankly, isn’t the most worldly warrior. Not unlike Vick, she uncompromisingly believes she’s a “good guy,” meaning she can do no wrong—despite, again, pouring burning magma along her island. Anyone who obstructs her, therefore, is automatically deemed a “bad guy.” Which segues into another Vick parallel: Mustache Girl struggles to accomplish anything of import unaided. 

A Hat in Time Chapter 2, Act 6 Hat Kid Mustache Girl doodle

Image: Source Gaming. Although these doodles are pretty petty, they’re hardly Mustache Girl’s worst affront. And they’ll remind observant players that she’s lurking nearby, scheming something…  

Obtaining twenty-five Time Pieces initiates that stint where you play as Mustache Girl and abscond with them. Co-op buddy Bow Kid notwithstanding (who was patched into the game a year after release), this is the only time you play as someone other than Hat Kid. But the novelty of this sequence extends beyond that. It’s delightfully intrusive, with the angsty outsider dramatically reemerging by interrupting the loading screen. Plus, Hat Kid’s spaceship has heretofore been a safe space, a cozy, colorful playground, but the lights are off and nobody’s here. Not only is this intruder betraying Hat Kid’s trust, but so are we. Our intimate knowledge of her home is now assisting an enemy!

That segment’s merely a short prelude to Time’s End, A Hat in Time’s final act. It’s an appropriately climatic stage, incorporating characters (most of whom are confused or scared), baddies, and mechanics from across the game. Moreover, it communicates a lot about Mustache Girl’s nature; it is her ideal world, after all! The endless sea of lava doesn’t merely call back to her vandalism in Mafia Town, or even the deadly closing worlds of your typical Super Mario; it’s an externalization of the gal’s aggression. Several gaudy, gold Mustache Girl statues populate Time’s End, as do mustache-themed railings. The dame even rests in a throne room as she awaits visitors! She isn’t humble, so it tracks that she’d mirror Wario’s interior design sense. Restoring Mafia Town is only a distant memory now… 

A Hat in time Hat Kid Chapter 5 Time's End Mustache girl throne

Image: Source Gaming. As you approach the former freedom fighter, the music changes and you watch her damn an admittedly mean Mafia goon. It builds tension, the anticipation of your looming duel. 

While Mustache Girl still harbors lingering resentment, she surprisingly decides Hat Kid is a “good guy.” Why? She never actively interfered with her plan. Afterwards, you have two choices: challenge the child soldier to reclaim Hat Kid’s property or run away, tears streaming down her face. Really, only the former’s an option; your frenemies encourage you should you flee and, besides, are you gonna let Mustache Girl’s rule continue? Similarly puritanical threats like Robot Santa and Light Yagami could harm innocents without remorse, and Vick offered to sell out a small community during a zombie outbreak; this wannabe tyrant could reach those levels, too. Maybe even soon! Surely not every single soul waiting outside committed a crime, right? Will this inexperienced dictator recognize that? Our facial-haired foil is no stranger to hypocrisy; her planetary makeover basically entailed taking over others’ homes, not unlike the Mafia’s main crime. It’s simply on an incalculably grander scale. 

And thus, the final fight begins. Combat in A Hat in Time isn’t sophisticated: you wack weirdos with your umbrella and, after jumping, can perform a Sonic the Hedgehog-esque Homing Attack (there are also a few unlockable projectile attacks). Unlike previous bosses, who only become vulnerable after cycling through their moves, there’s a satisfying, brutal momentum here: you can often—not always, but often—strike Mustache Girl; the speed of this brawl is directly proportional to your skill… at first, anyway. This is a three-phase fight, the first of which is a straightforward warmup. It ends after delivering a few blows, and the supporting cast shows up to, y’know, support Hat Kid and tell off an enraged Mustache Girl. 

A Hat in time Hat Kid Chapter 5 Time's End Mustache girl lasers

Image: Source Gaming. Mustache Girl’s boss themes are bluntly named “You Are All Bad Guys.” The first two versions increase in intensity as she does.  

Phase 2 ramps everything up. The screen goes dark for a few seconds, meaning all you can do is dodge a downpour of projectiles. Then the lights flick on, revealing the arena’s seen a dramatic makeover: you’re now stuck atop a neon, hourglass-shaped battlefield. Teleportation remains the tiny tyrant’s go-to technique; she’ll sneak up behind you to take potshots, which also renders the Homing Attack unreliable. Soon, the Mafia grunts and a Dead Bird Studios director barge in and merge into a giant makeshift ball with which we can finally retaliate. Afterwards, the angsty girl starts emitting shockwaves and, worse yet, shielding herself. By this point, she completely outclasses Hat Kid, leading to a short sequence where all we can do is survive. Cue another rescue from the supporting cast. 

Then the power dynamic finally shifts. It’s a charming climax, one where our frenemies sacrifice themselves for our benefit. People spawn Pons when they die, which heal Hat Kid, so everyone begins offing each other to ensure a steady stream of health. Think about it, too—these people would rather risk death than live under Mustache Girl’s rule. It also speaks to their confidence in Hat Kid, who left a profound mark on their communities. And, consequently, Mustache Girl’s confidence gets irreparably shaken, causing her powers to deteriorate. Even if she does hit you, your health gets instantly restored thereafter. Defeating Mustache Girl is an inevitability now. 

A Hat in time Hat Kid Chapter 5 Time's End Mustache girl phase 3 cutscene

Image: Source Gaming. Watching Hat Kid’s morally dubious peers—including the surviving Mafia toughs, who kickstart this movement—sacrifice themselves speaks to everything we’ve accomplished.  

This is the final phase of the fight, and it’s telling that it isn’t set to Mustache Girl’s leitmotif but a triumphant remix of A Hat in Time’s. After all, this is its Doomsday Zone analog, the empowering victory lap the game built towards. The heroine even scores a golden aura to contrast Mustache Girl’s ominous purple one. This all rocks! Realizing that everyone’s eminently rejected her, though, causes Mustache Girl to start expressing her fear of being alone. It’s… kind of heartbreaking, actually. In Death Note, Light was warned that only he’d remain had he gotten his way and purged the world of wrongdoers; such a future scares this autarch, as it should. 

Yes, Mustache Girl was an extremist unfit to rule. I doubt many people would’ve passed the brutal autocrat’s purity test. Anyone who does would undoubtedly never pursue her friendship. Still, she had a sincere point: her world’s in dire need of reform! Creeps genuinely run the show, even if they do so comparatively competently. This very climax reinforces that: the sinister Snatcher uses it to further his agenda by coercing an unsuspecting goat to sign one of his suicidal contracts! And that’s a tragedy; the corrupt power structures that yielded Mustache Girl’s desperation survive mostly unscathed. No lessons are learned; only the departing Hat Kid potentially grows if you spare a Time Piece. Even that is iffy; the rebel became drunk on power once, and while one Time Piece is less potent than twenty-five, who’s to say it won’t happen again? Morally, A Hat in Time’s cast is mostly shades of gray and black, a sharp contrast from their diverse, vivid color schemes. 

A Hat in Time Mustache Girl DLC The Hero (obviously) pic

Image: Gears for Breakfast. To be clear, I’m not exonerating Mustache Girl—she is firmly a villain, one I enjoyed taking down. But she’s still a kid, children make mistakes and need guidance, and Mustache Girl had nobody. Amidst her brutal, flashy hellscape, it’s easy to forget she’s a victim of circumstances beyond her control. 

Mustache Girl’s vicissitude is reinforced through her DLC picture book, “The Hero (obviously).” Ignoring its silly, self-aggrandizing addendum, it shows the chipper child greet the Mafia only to get attacked for the effort. And that’s valuable. While it doesn’t exactly provide new information, it still lets us see what she lost, that she was helpless and alone and abused. A bitter companion to the Mafia’s storybook—which is bright and joyous, as it’s framed from their perspective—this one focuses on Mafia Town’s slums. It brings A Hat in Time full circle by shining a sympathetic light upon the mutineer’s plight.

A Hat in Time tells a tale about two little girls, one of whom took a long, strange detour while flying home and the other tragically lost her innocence. Mustache Girl is right to be critical of the game’s many self-serving jerks. Not even Hat Kid is a saint; she performs good deeds, but ultimately isn’t too concerned with making this alien planet a safer place. Still, I like to believe a version of that scrapped ending happens: the two reunite and, as Mustache Girl’s home has entered an era of peace and prosperity, she returns that Time Piece. 

Congratulations, Mustache Girl! Us kids should stick together! 

A Hat in Time Mustache Girl DLC The Hero (obviously) last pic

Image: Gears for Breakfast. Looking at this picture makes me think about how long it took to finally publish this piece. I wouldn’t mind seeing this fiery freedom fighter again someday.  

Thanks to Hamada and guest writer NickDaDroid for helping with edits.

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