One of my gaming regrets is that I didn’t play Conker’s Bad Fur Day upon release. A 2001 cult classic and swan song for the Nintendo 64, Bad Fur Day launched when its developer, Rare, was nearing the end of their nearly decade-long partnership with Nintendo. Moreover, it marked an unprecedented, bold reinvention for its title character: the chipper, childish squirrel of Diddy Kong Racing and Conker’s Pocket Tales was now… a crude, crestfallen alcoholic? Gutsy! Bad Fur Day’s cover emphasizes that it’s meant for older players, a message the game itself reiterates when you boot it up. Some people sincerely believed that was all a joke—a friend received a copy as a tyke because his dad thought as such—but dear lord it wasn’t. Now, I was the kind of kid who would under no circumstances ever utter a naughty word, yet I couldn’t deny that Conker fascinated me, much like Futurama and Family Guy did. Considering my history with Rare, however, I always knew I’d try it someday.
Image: Source Gaming. Bad Fur Day has a fascinating development history. Conker brainchild Chris Seavor and his team later remade it as Conker: Live & Reloaded for the Xbox, which revamps the visuals, makes a few other tweaks, and expands its multiplayer mode.
More than anything, Conker’s Bad Fur Day delights in telling jokes and parodying movies. Released when South Park was at its cultural peak, its first six chapters are full of scatalogical humor, fourth wall breaks, and scenes where the sociopathic squirrel unceremoniously ruins, if not ends, the lives of hapless NPCs. Now, let’s not beat around the bush: Bad Fur Day’s humor doesn’t jibe with me (nor does South Park’s). Considering how mechanically subpar the gameplay undergirding Bad Fur Day is, it can grow outright frustrating at times. And yet… I don’t dislike it. On occasion, I even found myself engrossed in the wannabe mascot’s misfortune.
Bribing the bluntly-named Mr. Barrel with $2,110 (sentient, screaming cash is the game’s mandatory collectible) grants access to Spooky, Bad Fur Day’s unsettling seventh chapter. First, a strangely cathartic sequence ensues: the wooden weirdo lets us ride him down his hill. When ascending it, we had to avoid several annoying, hostile worms that erupt from the ground without warning. Simply approaching one causes it to munch on Conker before throwing him aside. Now, they’re powerless against us! Just steer by moving left or right on the control stick and let Mr. Barrel’s momentum push Conker forward. Alas, the joyride doesn’t last: at the base of the mountain, Conker’s flung off his companion, who unceremoniously smashes into a gate by the river and breaks. Well, at least his death wasn’t in vain—it unlocked a new passageway!
Image: Source Gaming. Underneath Conker’s cynicism and sarcasm rests a beating heart, some genuine sincerity. Ironically, the zombie-infested Chapter 7 is probably the earliest someone might sense it.
After awakening and realizing he must’ve been unconscious for hours, we’re in control of Conker again and can enjoy a peaceful moonlight sky. Maybe you’ll grab a spare squirrel tail, an extra life, from behind the sign at the hub’s entrance. Maybe you’ll revisit the earlier chapters for a spell to soak in their newfound nocturnal ambiance. Invariably, you’ll head to the river and formally start Spooky.
Mr. Death
Disaster immediately strikes: a cave-in leaves the rodent trapped in this unfamiliar tunnel, one teaming with gross, green water. With nowhere else to run, we’ll keep walking forward, probably while taking notice of a path to the right that dead ends quickly. Exiting leads into a shockingly serene, massive area. Mostly, it’s a large, deep blue pond. Dead ahead is everybody’s favorite “hero” hunter, Gregg the Grim Reaper, flailing his scythe at the water. Upstream to our left is an exit, but the river’s harsh currents prevent us from reaching it.
Image: Source Gaming. Bad Fur Day is an audiovisual marvel for the Nintendo 64, a quality Spooky conveys beautifully. The lighting, grit, and color palettes are all striking.
Which is a good hook to discuss Conker’s controls and abilities. His go-to control scheme is fine; you’ll acclimate to it quickly. What weighs it down is that Conker simply isn’t fun to play as. His default moves—walking, running, jumping, crouching, high jumping, hovering, swinging a frying pan, and swimming—are simple and there’s little room for experimentation. Lacking heft and precision, Conker doesn’t carry momentum forward when dashing or leaping; release the control stick while midair and he’ll unsatisfyingly drop straight down. When his midair tail twirl ends, his inertia mostly does alongside it; it’s more Sonic 2006 Tails than Sonic Adventure Tails, if you catch my (Sonic) drift. He’s also susceptible to fall damage, and his invincibility window after suffering a hit is surprisingly short. Any nearby baddies are gonna get ample room to rough Conker up.
Trying to fly up that river perfectly conveys Conker’s limitations: somehow, he can’t. Moments like this go against my preference for the tactile, flexible play you’d see in, say, Super Mario. But that isn’t a dealbreaker. Every game has a unique vision powering it, and considering the cinematic one backing Bad Fur Day, I wasn’t expecting Rare to effectively let me skip Spooky. Besides, Conker’s stiff flimsiness isn’t an issue in flat, wide rooms devoid of danger, like this one. Parts of Bad Fur Day that require precision do get… grating, though.
Image: Source Gaming. Up until Spooky, Bad Fur Day’s boasted beautifully bright, vibrant visuals that juxtapose wonderfully with its tone. While the nighttime sky is initially a nice reprieve from Conker’s coarse wackiness, the darkness soon grows minacious.
Anyway, let’s bug Gregg, Rare’s most miserable reaper. Distracted by his unbridled hatred of catfish, there’s little to do but continue walking on the boardwalk, which leads to a locked gate. Kindly, the camera angle points out our next destination: another tunnel entrance. When you hop in the water, the current even kindly pushes you towards it! So, let’s enter and jump onto the lever in the next room, pulling it down. Overshot it? No problem; this tunnel loops back into the one we began the chapter in, so simply swim back and try again.
Finally, Spooky starts getting juicy. Noticing Conker, the rodent reaper explains that the castle up ahead is owned by his wealthy, late ancestor. Zombies have overrun the courtyard, though, so Gregg gives the mercenary mammal a shotgun and explains that only a headshot will do them in. Unfazed at the prospect of facing supernatural horrors (I imagine Conker and Wario would be fun drinking buddies, exchanging tales detailing the bizarre ordeals they’ve endured for cash), we enter. Walk far enough inside, and four undead animals erupt from their graves!
Image: Source Gaming. Where Super Mario levels typically provide a safe space to help players acclimate to new mechanics, Bad Fur Day usually throws ‘em in the deep end. And while Conker’s quest is altogether linear, it alternates between straightaways and more open areas; you never know what it’s gonna do next.
Here’s a confession: it took me several tries to clear this sequence my first time through. Since the shotgun replaces Conker’s near-worthless frying pan, he busts it out when you press the B button. Thing is, hoisting it also alters Conker’s control setup. Where the left and right C buttons usually change the camera angle, they let the armed adventurer strafe in the corresponding direction. Holding the R button lets him aim, while Z activates the laser pointer; release the latter to fire. Pressing up on the C-stick makes him aim down, and vice versa; that setup always throws me off. It also took a while for it to sink in that Conker can’t jump when carrying a gun. Still, this admittedly isn’t a complicated overhaul, and if you’ve spent time competing in Bad Fur Day’s multiplayer modes, then you’ve likely adjusted to it already. But I hadn’t.
Which is problematic, because the ghouls are dangerous! Sure, Conker’s more agile than them. But they’re strong, durable, and Conker is left momentarily stunned after a bite. Aiming for their heads while moving or under pressure can prove tricky, too, especially since their hitboxes are kinda finicky—occasionally, I’d unmistakably hit their noggins from afar, yet it wouldn’t register as such. One positive, however, is that striking a zombie’s torso knocks it back several feet. They only sprint for a brief spell before pausing for a break, too. And I eventually figured out the obvious, easy strategy to deal with them: high jump atop a tombstone, where they can’t reach, and gun ‘em down. Rinse and repeat for the next two waves. Once Gregg’s satisfied, he spawns by the door, unlocks it, and half-heartedly thanks us for doing his job. That comment about Conker being the one who’ll need a will is rather ominous, though…
Image: Source Gaming. Rare’s always had an eye for the details, and giving the worms an undead makeover here is a nice one. Dunno why Conker’s smiling, though. Maybe the blood loss is making him delirious?
A winding pathway leads to the castle. Problem is, more worms lurk here! In fact, Spooky’s skeletal variety is even worse! While they still “only” deal one health point per hit, they’ll almost certainly toss the trashy squirrel into the abyss afterwards, costing us one life. Thankfully, the strategies from Mr. Barrel’s mountain persist: wait for the pests to emerge and then carefully maneuver around ‘em.
Count Batula
What ensues after entering the castle is a fairly long cutscene wherein we meet Count Batula, Conker’s bloodshot ancestor. Initially feigning a friendly demeanor, he treats his dopey descendant to a hearty meal, but drops the act once a pack of villagers break into his property. Then… he finally answers the promise of his Dracula inspiration and bites Conker, turning him into a loyal, still adorable bat.
Image: Source Gaming. Observant players will notice the meat grinder room’s conveniently placed logs and walkways, the latter of which imply you’ll be schlepping junk around.
Another circumstantial control scheme arises, the one that demands the strongest rewiring of your muscle memory. Pressing A or B while on the ground makes the cursed Conker hop into the air. When airborne, holding them respectively makes him soar backwards or forwards. Pressing left or right makes him move in the corresponding direction, forward makes him speed downwards, and down makes him gain height at the cost of his speed; kinda like the Wing Cap in Super Mario 64, right? Wanna briefly paralyze those villagers who’re fighting for their lives? Press Z while hovering over one to drop guano atop him. Conker automatically uses a radar while moving to suss your victims out, too. But they aren’t pushovers—watch out for their spears!
Still, this sequence isn’t difficult: stun a sad soul, land atop him to grab ‘em, and then fly back to the center room, Batula’s grisly meat grinder. Carrying prey weighs Conker down, but holding down on the control stick fixes the problem. Drop seven villagers into the grinder, and Batula grows too heavy, falls off his perch, and poetically gets killed by his creepy contraption. Cue Conker’s curse being broken.
Image: Source Gaming. On the top lies three chocolate wedges, a safety net in case you get skewered. It’ll take the standard squirrel a spell before he can reach them, so be careful during your next mission!
Before you do so, though, why not avail yourself of Conker’s temporary makeover to take an early, easy tour of the manor? Speaking as a Dead Rising survivor, it’s important to know what’s where when dueling the undead—and, yes, Batula’s demise spawns a third wave of zombies, the biggest one yet. Hey, Conker wasn’t in control of his actions narratively, but we, those controlling him, are still guilty of murdering a lotta people mere minutes ago. Maybe we deserve this horde.
Zombies
Once again, Conker begins within the meat grinder. It has two main floors, the bottom of which connects to the three adjacent rooms: the right room, the dining hall; the back links to the garden; and the library’s on the left. Meanwhile, the second floor connects to the foyer in the front of the mansion as well as the library and dining room. Circling both floors are walkways you’ll need to hop across. At the center of the pit lies, well, the meat grinder; falling in is fatal (losing your footing on the second floor incurs fall damage). Did you notice that third, elevated pathway while flying earlier, the one with the lever? Keep it in mind.
Image: Source Gaming. Although Batula’s manor bears grisly, gothic architecture, each area still feels distinct. You can sense the thick coats of dust here, or the gruesome history implied by the meat grinder’s beautiful bloodstains.
The library’s my first destination once Conker’s restored to normal. Entering from the meat grinder’s bottom layer, a hallway on the left connects to the foyer while the one on the right leads to the garden, although the latter path’s useless to the flightless Conker. Should you enter from the top, to your right is a long walkway that circles the room—and leads to the bottom floor. Three thick bookshelves adorn the center of the room, yielding a quick means to jump across, and the middle one has a context sensitive pad. Use it to summon a crossbow and shoot the four bloodthirsty bats, all of whom dot a different corner of the room. Otherwise, they’ll swarm the squirrel. Then, you might wanna gut the zombies roaming the ground as well as those in the left hallways. Be careful, though; the bookshelves can provide cover to the cadavers, as they did the villagers.
Circle back to the dining room and enter through the top, the only way to reach its context sensitive pad, and kill the next three bats, all of whom lurk dead ahead. Now, you’re all clear to grab the key at the end of this room! Problem is, you gotta do so while treading carefully along a series of thin walkways. Not only does a slip-up hurt Conker—or kill him, should you plummet into the bottomless pit (you can’t access the meat grinder’s bottom floor from here unless Conker has wings)—but it resets the key to its original position! Oh, and the hallways on the ground here lead to the foyer and garden, the latter being indicated by a green glow. You needn’t fuss over them yet, though.
Image: Source Gaming. Regardless of which form Conker’s in, Batula’s needlessly big abode always implies a dark, heavy presence our materialistic, small squirrel is ill-equipped to handle. Robin Beanland’s score adds to the ambiance.
All of this speaks to Spooky’s most striking quality: once the nocturnal nightmare begins in earnest, Conker always feels vulnerable. He’s weak, has to traverse a hazard-heavy map, his ability to do so is limited, and altogether he just seems… out of place. Unlike Bat’s Tower, where a misstep also hurts him and forces you to redo some platforming, Conker’s ineptitude here works in tandem with and even enhances the atmosphere. While his shotgun sports unlimited ammo—a luxury a Resident Evil or Dead Rising hero would kill to have, no doubt—health pickups are equally scarce; it’s still gonna be some time before you can fill up on sweets. Furthering this feeling, Rare’s humor takes a backseat in Spooky. Thematically appropriate appearances by Gregg and Batula notwithstanding, we’re alone and lack anyone to quip with throughout this whole ordeal! It’s an unnatural break in a game where nothing is natural!
Anyway, go through the library to get to the foyer. Insert the key in the door to begin this sub-chapter’s next phase. Like the Spencer Mansion, Willamette, or even the Male Ward, new routes open up here as you make progress—and this one links the garden and dining room together through a bridge. Take a guess where the second key lies.
Image: Source Gaming. Unreliable during tight platforming, Bad Fur Day’s camera pans up when you’re midair, often obscuring the thin boards you’re undoubtedly trying to land on.
To give the foyer its due, it grants easy access to the library and dining room through the left and right hallways, respectively, on the first floor. Accessing the meat grinder via the top is just as straightforward. What’s genuinely remarkable about this room is its sense of scale, however. Conker cannot simply walk along those cartoonishly large stairs; he has to jump over a few steps. Other areas also embody that quality, like how the hallways boast suits of armor that tower over the mammal. We’re a little catfish in a big, paranormal pond.
Head to the garden through the dining hall, taking the time to exterminate any zombie that dare threaten you. Now, we’re contending with thick hedges that circle a cemetery. Much like the bookshelves, they’re tall and can obscure oncoming undead, though you can hop atop them à la a tombstone to perform some simple sniping. While you’re here, maybe take a breather to appreciate the greenery and glum, cloudy sky? It has been a hot minute since Conker’s enjoyed any fresh air. …Eh, probably best not to dawdle. Secure the key, head back the way you came, and insert it into the front door. One key left!
Image: Source Gaming. Grays, browns, and reds permeate the manor, making the garden’s foliage a somewhat refreshing change of pace. And Rare is a company that values naturalistic ambiance; information only briefly flashes on-screen when necessary in Bad Fur Day, like Donkey Kong Country or Banjo-Kazooie.
A ladder has dropped down in the meat grinder room, letting Conker climb up from the second floor to the third. Fill up on chocolate should you need to—let’s be honest, you probably do if it’s your first time through—and perform some hovers and high jumps to reach that lever, finally unveiling its purpose: it opens a secret passageway that leads to the foyer! Carefully hop atop the pipe to the key, and then slowly walk up towards the door. Make every effort not to fall now! A third-story fall’s fatal.
Moving through that hidden passage instantly teleports you to the foyer near some fresh zombies. Don’t fear! Sprint towards the door, insert the last key, and make your way to freedom…
Mr. Barrel
Image: Source Gaming. Key #3 being so straightforward to obtain is a pleasant surprise. Having withstood several zombie bites and spine-cracking falls, it felt like a reward… and an appreciated breather before Spooky’s final trial.
Well, almost. Worried about those boney worms? Conker has a plan, and it involves the mysteriously revived (undead?) Mr. Barrel. Ride the now-silent cask down the long, winding road from whence Conker came. Again, a misstep’s fatal, and considering how fast Conker goes when rolling downhill, you’re gonna suffer a few deaths. Our freedom’s nevertheless a formality now, since starting a new sub-chapter yields a checkpoint; take as many tries as you need. Once you return to the lake, you can finally reach the river and discover a door… that leads to a formally inaccessible part of Hangover, the first chapter! Finally, you can nab that wad of cash that’s been cursing you out ever since you began Bad Fur Day! Scale the tutorial structure one last time to return to Windy, the hub… and prepare for war!
When chipping away at Conker’s Bad Fur Day, I often ruminated on the concept of genres and how fluid they are. Many 3D platformers released during Conker’s heyday tried augmenting typical platforming challenges with other mechanics. Look at the Pac-Man World trilogy! Gimmicky bosses that require some proficiency with racing and vertical shooters lurk the first. An excruciatingly drab swimming-themed world in Pac-Man World 2 closes with an equally bland boss evocative of Star Fox. Pac-Man World 3? Arguably more beat ‘em up than platformer. Debates rage online whether Rare’s own Banjo-Kazooie and Tooie should count as platformers (I’d argue their cousin, Donkey Kong 64, shouldn’t); the 2015 Rare Replay compilation dubs them “adventure” and “platformer” games, an insight into how the studio views them.
Image: Source Gaming. None of Bad Fur Day’s circumstantial sequences are fun or deep. When it does iterate on an idea, like Mr. Barrel, however, there is at least a rise in complexity or scale.
Conker’s Bad Fur Day has platforming in it; Spooky unmistakably does. Rarely is it intricate or satisfying; it’s merely a means to an end. Rare Replay classifies Bad Fur Day as an “action, adventure” game, a ruling I second. Above all else, it’s a variety show. Maybe it’s fitting that a game starring a greedy drunk isn’t content to explore only one genre: Bad Fur Day dabbles in platforming, shooting, racing, and, yes, horror. Seavor’s team had free rein to construct their passion project, one they imbued with as many wild ideas—like whisking a “hero” defined by platforming trappings through a horror media-inspired course—as they could muster. Playing Bad Fur Day isn’t fun, but it is fascinating. As a work of art, one that upends itself on a whim countless times, I respect it.
Within Conker’s broader journey, Spooky’s placement is perfect, too. By this point, we’ve been playing as an idiot “helping” even more inept idiots to an endless cavalcade of gags and goofy visuals. While Spooky doesn’t wholly reject the game’s sardonic spirit (read the names on the tombstones), its tenser tone hints that there might be more to Bad Fur Day. That Spooky ends as abruptly as it begins and is so disconnected with the game’s overarching plot adds to its surreality, its nightmare-like mood. And it nicely sets the stage for Bad Fur Day’s final two acts, levels that take time to reckon with darker material. Conker is richer for having survived Spooky, and so is Conker’s Bad Fur Day. For my googly-eyed money, it’s easily the best, most memorable level in the game.
Image: Source Gaming. Spooky closes with a true, satisfying full circle moment. And if there’s any level in Bad Fur Day I’d ever want to revisit, it’s this one.
Thanks to Hamada for helping with edits.
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