Thanks to Hamada for helping with edits.
Toy cars are charming. Although I was more invested in Power Rangers action figures as a tyke, I did own a few Hot Wheels and occasionally made use of them to race against friends. We’d drag our rigs along makeshift racecourses set across tables and floors, often arguing over who won. That experience is hardly unique to me, and Micro Machines developer Codemasters sought to humor it through their 2014 racer Toybox Turbos. Years later, the game found a place in my Xbox 360 library via Microsoft’s now-defunct Games with Gold program (alongside a litany of other games; my backlog’s huge). Toybox Turbos also hit Steam and the PlayStation 3; it got around.
I knew nothing about Toybox Turbos before starting it. I was hoping for a decent, kid-friendly time killer, one that’d be more Mario Kart than Forza or Crazy Taxi. And, well…it delivered. (Image: Electronic Arts)
An altogether humble package, Toybox Turbos boasts eighteen racetracks and thirty-five vehicles. It has seven cups that contain six events each, five normal ones and an elimination match against a boss. Standard events come in five varieties, which have distinct rulesets and usually last for three laps. The go-to event is a classic race against three opponents. An infinite number of rivals spawn in overtake missions and you must pass as many as possible. Attaining a record time is the goal during time trials. Escape events challenge you to keep ahead of an ethereal blue wave for as long as possible (these can exceed three laps if you’re skilled enough). Finally, countdown events are even stricter timed rushes. Grab the gold clocks scattered across the tracks to add precious seconds to the clock, and it’s game over if it reaches zero.
Toybox Turbos encourages and, to some extent, forces replayability through its ranking system: you can earn up to three stars in each normal event by performing well. Elimination matches only open after you’ve met their star quotas, and the final boss, the Queen, requires 80 out of 105. This isn’t a Ms. Pac-Man Maze Madness situation, however, where Toybox Turbos is cheaply padding itself out; you’ll likely hit that threshold by simply playing through it. A plus to this setup is that you can potentially skip unsatisfying events, though probably not too many (I only skipped one). On average, the game isn’t too tough and does a fine job gradually rising in difficulty, a few specific missions aside. Only the first escape event felt like a questionable escalation, however.
You unlock a new cup by beating the boss presiding over the previous one. Overall, Turbos is short; I’d wager an average run through it takes about two hours. Maybe add another hour or two if you’re aiming for 100% completion, as some events are hard to three-star. (Image: Electronic Arts)
Items are acquired by driving through purple boxes à la Mario Kart, though Turbos’ take longer to respawn and only appear during classic races and elimination matches. A giant hammer can crush anyone in front of you and is altogether the strongest weapon; pray you score these against bosses. A shotgun can target, shoot, and potentially blow up a rival, though aiming’s tricky. Diddy Kong Racing-esque magnets draw you towards an opponent. Rockets supply a temporary speed boost and should be saved for straightaways. An EMP can confuse foes and potentially detonate mines. Use these on narrow bridges or tight turns; other racers may accidentally veer off-course. Finally, a red add-on lets you drop three mines, Turbos’ banana peel parallel. While this is a paltry amount of goodies relative to other racers, each one offers utility. I also respect that there isn’t a Spiny Shell knockoff, though Turbos’ small scale probably mitigates the need for one—events usually only last for a few minutes (I suppose that’s also why the racetracks lack mini-maps. They’d still be helpful, though).
The people at Codemasters certainly drew from their childhoods when developing Toybox Turbos. You’ll dash across a wealth of mundane environments from an overhead perspective, including a kitchen, bathroom, classrooms, an off-brand Jurassic Park toy set, and billiard tables. Some stages boast thematically-appropriate hazards: liquids that are slippery or sticky, toy trains and billiard balls that can crush you, bunsen burners and fireballs that set you ablaze. And when I call the environments mundane, that’s not meant in a derogatory sense. They’re just, y’know, everyday places. This game’s meant to evoke one’s nostalgia, and for dredging up memories of my elementary school years, it’s a success on that front.
Unfortunately, Toybox Turbos’ music is bland at best and obnoxious at worst. The sound effects don’t fare much better. (Image: Electronic Arts)
The visuals aren’t up to snuff on a technical level, however. Everything lacks texture and the lighting is simple, yielding an unsightly plastic sheen. Geometry is simple. Sometimes the visuals are ill-considered, too: making out red mines along a red billiard table while trying to keep ahead of the pack can prove difficult. I suspect Codemasters had to make due with a small budget, and though I sympathize, that doesn’t alter the fact that Toybox Turbos looks cheap—to the point where I’d almost rank it alongside comparably glossy, unsightly games of its generation. Still, it doesn’t look offensive. Things look serviceable enough while you’re driving, the frame rate is consistent, and, hey, this is a racing game. You should keep your eyes on the road, not sightsee.
Actually, that last sentiment, keeping your eyes on the road, perfectly segues into the game’s biggest shortcoming: the camera. Toybox Turbos never reaches the speed of its peers, which is fine; there’s room in my library for a slower, less hectic racer. But any appeal therein suffers after you play a few races and realize that you can barely see what’s up ahead! For what it’s worth, the default camera option works best, since it’s at a slight angle, whereas the other two are purely top-down. But performing well largely boils down to track memorization, in knowing what lies ahead—and that includes remembering where people left mines.
The camera pans out during elimination matches. If a racer collides with the bottom of the screen, they’re out, and the first person to score ten points wins. (Image: Electronic Arts)
Since the track design has to account for the limited camera, we’re left with a fairly straightforward collection of curves and straightaways; the aesthetics perform the heavy lifting in setting tracks apart. Not every one contains a shortcut, and those that do—like the one depicted in that kitchen screen shot two pictures ago—only stray from the main path for mere seconds before reconverging. A few tracks contain small cinematic moments; leaping off a ramp in Science Fair causes the camera to pan behind you momentarily, for example. While I appreciate the effort, they ultimately add little. All of this compares unfavorably to Mario Kart—I may not perform well my first time trying a course therein, but I never feel blind and will usually want to try again. Not so here.
Mechanically, Toybox Turbos falters elsewhere, too. Most cars feel weightless, and though each one boasts different stats, few are satisfying to control. Finer racing mechanics—drifting, performing stunts—are absent here. Plus, Toybox Turbos doesn’t lend itself well to free-form experimentation. I once used a rocket on a ramp to leap over part of a track. It looked cool! Admittedly, I did land off the main path…but I had a clear, millisecond-long drive back onto it. Nevertheless, the game registered this as me landing out of bounds, so it reset me back and cost me time. Hey, racing toy cars as a kid is a clunky experience, and the overhead camera and iffy movement unintentionally capture that.
Vehicles are split into seven categories, like the racetracks. You start with one and must purchase nearly every other car (boss rides are unlocked upon their defeat) from the in-game garage. Coins litter each event and you’ll score large bonuses for clearing them, though. (Image: Electronic Arts)
A token multiplayer mode is included, of course. Though you’re relegated to the elimination ruleset, you’re otherwise free to adjust the settings. Conquering the Queen unlocks the Mirror Mode option, too. One odd omission, however, is that the multiplayer mode doesn’t display the vehicles’ stats, so make sure to memorize your favorites. Local and online play is supported, though I’d be shocked if the latter’s active today (I can’t check, as my Xbox Live Gold membership has long since lapsed).
Appropriately, Toybox Turbos is simplistic and feels geared towards younger players. And my expectations were met: grinding through an event or two a day was a pleasant breather from the meatier, more demanding titles I played alongside it. But, well…that’s all Toybox Turbos is, a novelty. And if I wanted to introduce my kid cousins to the racing genre, I’d sooner reach for the ever-reliable Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.
When you’re a kid, visiting an arcade is a magical experience. One of the many wild titles I discovered therein was a top-down racer, happy memories this one drudged up. (Image: Electronic Arts)
What’s really unfortunate, however, is that most people today can’t show off Toybox Turbos to others, as it’s been delisted on consoles (it’s still available on Steam, thankfully). Electronic Arts purchased Codemasters in 2020 and mostly tethered them to the F1 franchise, so a sequel is unlikely. Meanwhile, the Micro Machines series unceremoniously scored an encore in 2017 and then faded back into dormancy. Which is a shame; I appreciate Turbos despite its imperfections. Top-down racers are uncommon today, and this one kindly made me reminisce over simpler times. Oh well—like childhood itself, Toybox Turbos is in the rearview mirror and becoming a distant memory…
No reason’s been given for the removal of Toybox Turbos from Sony or Microsoft’s digital storefronts. This is hardly the most egregious thing Electronic Arts has ever done, but delisting a game they own is still disappointing. (Image: Electronic Arts)
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