Thanks to Hamada for helping with edits.
“This time, I’m really gonna do it,” I told myself as I bought a copy of L.A. Noire for the Xbox 360. “This time, I’m going to play the hot, big, new game while everybody else is, while it’s topical and new.” Unsurprisingly, I opened the game the following day, spent roughly twelve minutes playing it, and then unceremoniously stuck it back on my shelf, where it sat neglected for eleven years. Buying big, new titles on or near release and waiting years to, y’know, play them was a bad habit of mine.
L.A. Noire’s presentation effectively evokes its setting, and its tutorials efficiently teach its mechanics. Andrew Hale and Simon Hale’s score perfectly compliments its tone, too. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
A wealth of things happened during those eleven years. We’re now two hardware generations removed from the 360 and PlayStation 3, the consoles L.A. Noire originally graced. Though the property has mostly remained dormant, it reemerged in 2017 for a slew of remasters, one of which was built around virtual reality headsets. It’s also come out that the game’s brainchild, Brendan McNamara, was allegedly an abusive monster towards his staff. That’s something that nagged at me as I finally grinded along through L.A. Noire this year.
On paper, the game sounds right up my alley. It’s set in Los Angeles during the Forties and stars a smart, observant detective—already, L.A. Noire shares a few elements with my all-time favorite game, Hotel Dusk: Room 215. Though it isn’t an adventure game, L.A. Noire’s focus is still on its narrative and characters. L.A. Noire also flaunts third-person shooting segments and fistfights and a large, faithful recreation of the city. Hey, Gears of War‘s genre-redefining firefights were engaging, street brawls can be exciting, and searching dirty, detailed alleyways for corpses and clues sounds thrilling. Bring L.A. Noire on!
The game spans six “desks,” which are collections of cases that sport an overarching theme. Cole’s notoriety rises as you progress; even bystanders start praising him. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
Unfortunately, L.A. Noire struggles to interrogate its mechanics. One of its biggest issues is its massive map. Yes, it’s impressive that developers Team Bondi and Rockstar Games made such a thorough recreation of Los Angeles. But the novelty dies once you realize how little there is to do in it. The game’s driving mechanics are merely functional, a means to cover distance relatively quickly; they aren’t fun. Finding the mostly useless collectibles isn’t engaging either (only the thirteen newspapers, which supplement the plot, are worthwhile). Kindly, protagonist Cole Phelps is always paired with another investigator, who will chauffeur him if you ask. But driving through L.A. is something we’re meant to do. Some cases are built around it, and optional, mediocre side cases only trigger when doing so.
On foot, Cole is cumbersome to control. Walking is slow, and jogging isn’t much faster. Cole can also momentarily get caught on scenery. In fairness, these aren’t pressing issues most of the time, but the parts where Cole has to sprint after suspects can get aggravating. Again, L.A. Noire exhibits awareness of its shortcomings, sometimes helping players navigate these linear obstacle courses (when sprinting up stairs, for example, all you need to do is hold one direction). There are also a few stealth segments, none of which are memorable; just tail your suspect from a distance and periodically hide behind stuff.
The game’s mo-cap technology is impressive, but carries a distracting limitation: characters cannot have long hair. The gap in quality between those animations and the characters’ stiff walking ones is also huge. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
L.A. Noire’s third-person shooting mechanics are threadbare: you aim your gun, shoot, take cover, and can grab different guns off fallen foes. In an effort to help less experienced players, the crosshair automatically homes in on your nearest target when you press the left trigger button (however, adjusting to this as a Gears veteran took practice). Also, the firefights’ choreography is subpar, as are the enemy variety and A.I. Unfortunately, fistfights have even less going on: you punch, dodge, and can grapple opponents.
Investigations are straightforward: you’re told where to go, drive there, search for clues (the controller vibrates and a jingle plays when you approach something you can inspect), and speak with witnesses. After inspecting a piece of evidence, it gets jotted down in your organizer. Sometimes, Cole has to manually move objects around, only recognizing them as clues upon viewing them at specific angles. Other times, you must investigate an item further by, say, pressing a button to open a compartment. If you’re holding something for a while that isn’t important, Cole will say so, ensuring you don’t waste too much time. Once you find every clue hidden within an area, a jingle plays and the music stops. Afterwards, you might need to find a phone and call the police station to get an address, yielding your next destination.
L.A. Noire’s accessibility is laudable. You can skip problematic sections, screw up every interrogation, and miss clues, and still achieve victory. An “Intuition” system gives hints if you’re stuck, too. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
Conversations and interrogations, likewise, are formulaic: you’re given a list of questions (some of which won’t appear if you missed vital evidence) and ask them. Upon hearing an answer, Cole can respond in one of three ways: “truth,” “doubt,” and “lie” (the remasters rename them “Good Cop,” “Bad Cop,” and “Accuse,” respectively). If you think the person you’re speaking with is being honest, pick the former. If a character’s body language looks suspicious, then the correct response is one of the latter two. If you have evidence that contradicts what you were told, call out their fib and then present it. It’s a fine system in theory, though several characters’ body language is too telling; their eyes might dart around like they’re having a seizure, for example.
So we’re left with L.A. Noire’s story and cast. Thing is, I don’t care for Cole. A traumatized war “hero” whose platoon hated him seeking fame and redemption? A potentially powerful story’s buried under him, but it’s hard to invest in it when the guy is so robotic. Cole has no charisma (unlike the cynical, sarcastic detectives he works with), no hobbies or friends of note, and even his family life is so incidental that we only learn he has children hours into the game during a casual conversation. Every glimpse of his life beyond that are flashbacks to his time fighting in World War II, which gradually reveal that Cole was a terrible leader—and his mistakes back then are influencing the conspiracies he’s currently contending with.
A newspaper sitting in the open reveals Cole’s Vice Desk partner, Roy Earle, is scheming to oust the veteran’s tryst. Ten minutes later, Cole is ripped away from an important interrogation and suspended. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
And that twist, Cole’s affair? It falls flat. By this point, we’ve been guiding the LAPD’s “Golden Boy” for most of the game, reaching the last case of the penultimate desk. L.A. Noire heretofore never cared about his family, so why should I? Besides, being unable to do anything but sit along and guide Cole towards his looming demotion was frustrating, not suspenseful; that aforementioned newspaper should’ve been placed in the next case. Cole’s fling does at least further L.A. Noire’s themes of corruption, though. The LAPD is full of horrible people who don’t care about truth or justice, and though Cole positions himself as their moral backbone (and, in fairness, he is the most polite and open-minded member), he’s hardly perfect.
During Arson, the final desk, the masses openly detest Cole (though his colleagues still acknowledge his investigative talents). It’s when my investment in L.A. Noire’s lead becomes matched by the rest of its cast. It also marked a change in how I played the game. When you’re driving, you can smash into anything or anyone and suffer no repercussions aside from your end-of-case ranking going down. However, as Cole’s reputation rose, I made a conscious effort not to race through the streets, sideswiping pedestrians. I completely abandoned that after his demotion. Nobody likes him anyway, so why not save precious seconds? The braindead bystanders who turn or jump in my way should’ve paid attention to my blaring car horn.
A few Arson cases star fellow former Marine Jack Kelso, a more typical noir-style protagonist. His perspective is refreshing. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
And…well, that’s it. L.A. Noire is a very ambitious game, one I’d hesitate to call bad. But it kinda went through me and left little lasting impact. It tries incorporating a wealth of gameplay styles and pulls none of them off well. It’s a tragedy about a traumatized war “hero” who joins the force, rises through the ranks, hits rock bottom, and abruptly dies. The foundation for a compelling, exciting experience is present here. I hope a sequel builds upon it someday.
Ultimately, a bittersweet, heroic sacrifice from Cole closes his tale. It is nice he redeems himself, and seeing his corrupt colleagues speak at his funeral without facing any consequences for their crimes is fitting. (Image: Take-Two Interactive)
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