Dispatch from the Dive Chapter 10: Cinema Incompetente

With three Kingdom Hearts adventures under his belt, Wolfman Jew semi-heroically advances on the next two steps in the saga: Kingdom Hearts Re:coded and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. They aren’t organized by release within the Kingdom Hearts: The Story so Far collection, so it’s time to jump around a bit. These are, notably, not games but compilations of cutscenes from games that have been stitched into “movies.” So it’ll be a different experience even from my viewing of Chain of Memories back in Week 5.

March 6: Started Kingdom Hearts coded, watched up to Wonderland.

“This is… AWFUL!” My mom yelled that with true glee around the time fake computer Sora entered Traverse Town. She also used words like “dumb,” “weird,” insane,” and other repeated adjectives doubting the quality and coherence of Kingdom Hearts Re: coded. I figured that, in the interest of this writing project, it would behoove me to introduce other people to the world of Kingdom Hearts. So I started watching this film – a non-playable version of a 2010 remake of a 2008 video game – with my parents (as it turns out, roping them in for much more than bits and pieces was both impossible and unfair). It was largely inscrutable for them, which makes sense; this is a game made for Kingdom Hearts superfans. It’s based entirely around the Chain of Memories plot point of Naminé altering Jiminy Cricket’s journal, something that I largely forgot about along with Jiminy himself. It does nothing to help players catch up or explain things to newcomers (something that’s arguably less needed in a compilation of games), and it’s Kingdom Hearts crazy at its most unleaded.

Of course, I can’t say it was much clearer for me. At present, this feels like a bizarre remake of Chain of Memories, which itself was essentially shuffling around the story of the original Kingdom Hearts. We’ve got Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Jiminy watching a digital version of Sora clean up unclear data so they can find out what happened to the latter’s journal, only for themselves to be sucked into the world. It doesn’t exactly have a clear emotional hook in the way CoM did, other than them presumably learning about Naminé again. That isn’t bad, but it does feel… oddly disconnected by this point.

The most dramatic shift? Donald and Goofy’s regular outfits, which are largely just as silly but in a unique way.

I’ve decided to not watch these in one go, for two reasons. For this project, it’s not interesting to just dumb in a bunch of stuff for only two days; we learned that last week. But for me, personally, it’s hard to watch all of this in one go. I found the amount I’ve seen so far to be entirely baffling, and not in a fun way. So I put it away to watch more tomorrow (thankfully, The Story so Far lets you pause and start from where you left off) and left to hang out with my best friend. She was excited to watch the new AEW event, and while I’m no wrestling fan, I do certainly enjoy the technical work of one Dr. Britt Baker, DMD and CM Punk.

March 7: Watched up to part of the way through Hollow Bastion.

T’was roughly the same. This time, my dad provided the choice quote by disparagingly comparing coded to a scratch ‘n’ sniff sticker. Still don’t know what he meant by that. He was there for only a short bit; this movie is a trial for anyone coming in blind.

If there is an emotional core here, and I’m not convinced there is, it’s in the idea that even a fictional data version of Sora will still be Sora, as emotional and friendly and supportive as that means. Which is fine, but it doesn’t really change the issue of this not carrying anything “real” in terms of story. Donald, Goofy, Mickey, and Jiminy aren’t really growing as characters, so the only change happens to a version of Sora who’s obviously not going to be anything more than a subordinate copy. And even then, the only change is that he’s a reaffirmation of stuff about Sora we already know.

March 8: Finished Kingdom Hearts Re: coded.

And to go along with my mother’s cheerful exclamation or my father’s bemusement, today I couldn’t help but yell a tired, exasperated “shut up, Roxas!” This digital version of him, the story’s inexplicable villain, was just the culmination of the past three games’ attempts to play with the “darker counterpart” archetype that Riku eventually escaped. He also brought with him monologuing so needless that it’d probably impress even Xehanort.

The purpose of this entire exercise only comes in the ending to coded, when we have three revelations (two back to back, one as the post-credits stinger). In backwards order, Yen Sid and Mickey have to prepare Sora and Riku for the “Mark of Mastery” to stop Xehanort’s return, Mickey’s letter to Sora from the end of Kingdom Hearts II was explaining this adventure, and our digital, doomed friend discovers data. That data? Knowledge of two groups of people: Roxas, Axel, and an unknown character (that’d be Xion), and three strangers (that’d be Terra, Aqua, and Ventus).

The first group of characters, the Organization XIII folks, are the protagonists of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, which came out a year later. The second are the protagonists of Birth by Sleep, which came out two years after that. Now, I’ll set aside the fact that part of this reveal falls flat just by being in the Story so Far collection, which orders the games as 358/2 Days, KH2, Birth by Sleep, and then coded (so an average player will presumably get these reveal after the other three stories). That’s not how the games were initially released. But in general, this just doesn’t work. Kingdom Hearts II ended with a bizarre teaser for Birth by Sleep, obliquely positing it as a prequel that’ll explain the full cosmology of Kingdom Hearts. That’s potentially exciting, much more so than learning about the perennially bland Roxas and Axel, but both at least are directions the series can take – and, notably, one shared direction in that they both move away from Sora. While I’m waiting for that, this is just a long and exponentially confusing teaser trailer.

This feels very much like a stopgap game meant to keep the brand going while Square tweaks the gameplay and learns what Disney properties it’s allowed to use for the next game. And, to be fair, Chain of Memories felt a bit like that, too. But Chain of Memories also had Sora’s only substantial character arc thus far, and its introduction of Organization XIII made a much better claim to impacting the broader plot. This doesn’t have that. It is filler, as any long-running shōnen series would eventually have to include. But the collection is definitely selling it as a central piece of the puzzle, which it… isn’t. And it doesn’t need to be, either, because not all of these games are or should be equally important. If it were, then every entry should just get a number at the end. But that’s how Kingdom Hearts is playing it, so we have to take it on those terms – and on those terms, it fails.

It was nice, though, to have Jiminy take up a lead role again.

March 9: Started the playthrough of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days; watched up to Day 12 or so.

I started watching it late, which means I’m writing this late, so I’m not gonna talk about what amounted to a few minutes of footage. All I’m gonna say right now is this: do not sell a cutscene compilation as a “movie” and then neglect to have cutscenes. Static shots with unvoiced narration explaining each part of the plot, or bits of voiced narration over a pitch black background, do not count as “cutscenes.”

An example from later in the movie. Note the passive tone of voice; that’s consistent throughout.

I should be happy we’re at least not getting mega-creep Quinton Flynn doing the narration for the lines in character as Axel. Small miracles.

March 10: Didn’t play.

I don’t think I’d be able to adequately watch any of it today, given when I get back from work. I’m gonna try to power through most of it tomorrow. I will say, though, that the terrible structure of the compilation weakens the potential of 358/2 Days as a story, which is to let us actually see the characters of Organization XIII when they aren’t just a vague council of vagueness. It’s hard to tell how that was depicted in the original game, which is a shame, since getting to see these people with their hair down, so to speak, could help immeasurably with my biggest problem with Kingdom Hearts II.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Kingdom Hearts without needless teasers for future installments; it really did beat the Marvel side of Disney to the punch on that, huh? Our first one shows that Xigbar (the terrible boss with the guns) and Xemnas are playing a game beyond Organization XIII. The scheme itself is unclear beyond the suggestion that the villains in the last two games were pawns for yet another version of Xehanort, and I really wish the series would try other methods of storytelling. I know Xigbar is going to be a greater part of the plot going forward, and I gotta say: don’t see much in the guy.

So was Organization XIII only named as such when Roxas joined? We haven’t seen much of Xion yet, but I don’t think they’re calling themselves Organization XIV now that she’s here. Though it’d have made an excellent running gag in the last game for Xemnas to be constantly renaming his cadre of bad guys every time Sora offed one of them. “Oh, no! We’ve lost Luxord! Guess we’ll have to lower the number again… Oh, damn; Saïx just died, too.”

March 11: Watched up to Day 353.

The cutscene to narration ratio was much nicer today; the static and passive content was awful, but there was actual stuff to go with it.

The stuff itself was a combination of fairly interesting things (Roxas and Axel living their screwed up lives), dry reveals (Roxas and Xion were created to harvest Hearts, Axel wasn’t actually a traitor in Chain of Memories but snuffing out the traitors for Xemnas), and confusing infodumps. It’s notable how almost none of it involved the Disney characters, who exist on the periphery even though Roxas appears to have spent much of his year in Agrabah. Part of it’s that the game is focusing on our villains, but it is a strong indication of how much the story has shifted since Kingdom Hearts I. The animated characters are oddly incidental in a crossover about them. Then again, I’m perfectly happy to not think about or see Disney IP right now. I honestly feel kinda uncomfortable going through these games at the moment, and engaging with the company what made them.

March 12: Finished Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.

If there’s one particularly positive thing – or, arguably, the only positive thing – about 358/2 Days, it’s how it leverages Roxas and Axel. Those two were immensely uninteresting characters in Kingdom Hearts II (and in Axel’s case, Chain of Memories), but they largely work here. They’ve got an interesting hook in being characters who do evil things for an unclear goal because they feel they have nothing else. It’s a legitimate friendship built on and trying to transcend a weak, toxic foundation. More interesting than what Sora went through in I and II, certainly. Ultimately, the way it tries to weave in the broader mysteries doesn’t work for me, but that core friendship is strong.

Xion is… more frustrating in that regard. The reveal that she’s not just a product of Sora’s memories, but Sora’s memories of Kairi, makes her kind of an amalgamation of the series’ main female characters – and not in a good way. Like Kairi, she lacks agency. Like Naminé, she’s a literal product of Kairi who’s pushed about by Organization XIII, making her defined by her relationship to an offscreen character, one who’s already largely defined by her relationship to Sora. She also chooses to experience a far more extreme version of what seemed like Naminé’s original fate, to let herself be erased from existence so that Sora can live. This idea of characters giving up their lives, their identity, to protect a hero who “matters” more – something we saw with the Nobodies and “Data-Sora” – is kind of a bugbear of mine. It’s dehumanizing. And it doesn’t help that her life ends with her best friend giving her a… middling sendoff.

Maybe Xion stays a recurring part of the story, which I understand to be the case for Roxas and Naminé, but it’s not good for this plot point to have been used three games in a row. It also doesn’t help that Sora, while nice and fun and likable, isn’t so compelling or strong that the sacrifices feel justified. I also don’t think the game, or the series, gets enough out of the idea that there was a secret member of Organization XIII, which is weird since deceit and mendacity are the conspiracy’s stock in trade. There was, if I recall correctly, a hint about her back at the end of Kingdom Hearts II, but nothing more.

On the less serious side, wow, the fans do not lie when they talk about this game and that Disneyland sea salt ice cream. Roxas just don’t eat anything else, and “eat” is the right word with how he chomps on it. Can’t be good for his blood sugar levels.

Final thoughts: In the past, I’ve criticized the storytelling of Kingdom Hearts for many things: poor writing and acting, confusing plot twists, and cheap stabs at pathos. All of those are here, especially with coded, which was largely atrocious (I wanted to reference it in the header, but what unique material could I even add?). But these two games bring in another point of criticism, which is that in this form, as movies, they are impressively anti-cinematic. That was probably inevitable with them being cutscene compilations, but that doesn’t change how amateurish the productions are. So many interstitial cutaways to have the game tell you about what happened, even things that have no bearing on the main story. The games should’ve just been remade into actual animated movies, and while that would’ve cost a lot (especially for 358/2 Days, since coded could probably be cut down into a fifteen minute short), it would’ve fit the high level production of this collection. Given how much the series aspires to cinematic storytelling, these two “Kingdom Hearts experiences” are rather shocking.

I think coded and 358/2 Days also show both the potential and limits of the franchise’s original characters. When they work (which I don’t think is often, admittedly), they can provide a neat anime-esque drama to compliment the Disney films that spawned the rest of the cast. When they don’t, it’s a confusing mess of identical people who speak only in obtuse threats or heroic proclamations. My guess is that 358/2 is the installment with the most concentrated amount of Kingdom Hearts originals to preexisting characters, especially with seemingly all of Organization XIII having died by the end of Kingdom Hearts II. But we’ve still got new and improved original flavor Xehanort out there, so it’s an element that’s sure to stay.

Anyway, it’ll be nice actually playing again next week, and on a looser schedule.

Other games played: